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ash_carpenter
27 January 2010 @ 11:40 pm
Walk a mile in my (freakishly large) shoes  
Okay, so I had a dream where Dean and Sam body swapped. I know how much of a trope it is and how everything has been done before, but I couldn't resist it.

So, I present you some cracky fic of crack! There are slashy hints with OMCs, but no wincest (although Sam and Dean seem more curious about each other's dicks than they should be... :P )

Warnings: uh...language? And crack. I can't emphasise the crack enough. And don't get mad with me if Sam and Dean make fun of each other's physical appearances...*whistles*



( Don’t blame me! I’m all the way over here, in your impotent body. )
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ash_carpenter
12 January 2010 @ 12:31 pm
Splindsey fic: Speculate to Accumulate  
The lovely [info]okdeanna asked me for some Splindsey with a bit of rough play and spanking over at [info]nekid_spike, and she also very kindly let me use this month's kinky prompt of prostitution.

It's an NC-17 fic with some rather morally dubious elements, but...I guess parts of it are a little sweet too. You know, if you squint... ;-)



( The fire between them burned so hot and so bright that it made everything else okay. )
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ash_carpenter
05 January 2010 @ 02:27 pm
Splindsey ficlet: Texas Blues  
Oh, dear Lord. TOTAL and utter attack of the schmoop. For some reason, Splindsey romance doesn't make me gag like...well, any other pairing would. Weird, huh? 

Anyway, so this is for the "Winter Blues" prompt over at [info]the_elevator. It's just a wee little ficlet set in my Truck!verse (no need to read anything else; the only relevant thing is that Spike and Lindsey are (now) in an established relationship. Currently, they're living in the UK for a year due to Spike's work, but in this ficlet they're visiting Lindsey's family for Christmas/New Year).  



( Texas Blues )
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ash_carpenter
01 January 2010 @ 04:57 pm
Wincest fic: Don't be fooled by the pretty packaging  
Happy New Year folks!!!! And, to see the new year in...some naughty Wincest! Courtesy of a prompt from the twisted imagination of my darling [info]rockstarpeach... ;-)

Warnings: NC-17 of course. Dirty talking, rough handling, attempted toppy!Sam followed by actually toppy!Dean, bad language and some name-calling, humiliation. Brothers basically being dicks to each other - uh, but not in a really mean way (if that makes any sense)

Summary: Sam likes to tease Dean about the looks and offers that he gets sometimes on account of his pretty face, and it's no secret that he has a bit of an obedience kink. But Dean's not just gonna let his smug little brother think that he can own him.



( Considering the way Dean looked, model-perfect and kinda slutty with it, they encountered less trouble than might have been expected. )
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ash_carpenter
26 December 2009 @ 06:27 pm
Happy Birthday [info]zoesmith!!!!!!!!!!  
It's the utterly awesome and adorable Zoe's birthday today, so I made her a slightly naughty little Spangel manip! Happy birthday darling - hope you're having an amazing day!!!! *smooches*




( I wanna do bad things... )
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ash_carpenter
15 December 2009 @ 09:33 pm
Spike/Angel/Lindsey fic: Company Material  
Well, the fabulous [info]azryal asked me for a Spike/Angel/Lindsey over at [info]nekid_spike, a first time thing with lots of kissing and bottom!Lindsey who's maybe a little scared and reluctant.

She very kindly also let me go a little AU with it. Basically, Lindsey's still in college at Hastings, being courted by Wolfram & Hart. Spike and Angel both work for W&H: Angel's still soulled but Spike is unsoulled and unchipped.

Hope you enjoy it! :D



( Company Material )
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ash_carpenter
13 December 2009 @ 09:36 pm
I adpoted two sexy Santas!!!!!!!!  
Over at [info]nekid_spike, we're having an "Adopt a Santa" special - and I adopted these rather beautiful Santas made by my darling [info]blondebitz!!!!!!!

Please feel free to drool over them :D



 
 
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ash_carpenter
13 December 2009 @ 08:53 pm
The Road to Battle  
Seriously, WTF is wrong with me? Here I bring you...yep, you guessed it...more depressing SPN fic! Even I think it's about bloody time I wrote something cheerful or at least cracky *sigh*.

To be fair, I don't think this one is TOTALLY depressing. Like, if you kinda squint a bit...Ahem.

Anyway, it's a Dean-focussed little gen fic (i.e. not Wincest, although it's not particularly stated either way, so you could read it however you want), probably closer to a character study than anything. It's about the path that's led him to his imminent last stand, and about the only thing left that really matters.



( All he really wants now is for Sam to be there at his side. )
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ash_carpenter
12 December 2009 @ 05:40 pm
Happy birthday [info]jasonsnene!!!!  
It's the wonderful and completely fabulous [info]jasonsnene's birthday!!!!!! Happy birthday darling!!!! *kisses*

So I wrote her a porny little Spike/Angel/Riley, with Riley being a bite whore. Cos I know she likes that... ;-)

NC-17, kinda harsh, very porny, a bit bleak for poor Riley...Man, I'm so mean! And I really love Riley too! Sincere apologies to the farm boy...Well, apologies at any rate.



( Paying the Price )
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ash_carpenter
08 December 2009 @ 07:55 pm
Bah Humbug! Depressing fic time... ;-)  
Okay, we all know there's something wrong with me, but is it weird that my response to all the fluffy, lovely, sappy Christmas fics flying around is to write a messed up and depressing little ficlet...? Heh. Thought so.

Well, anyway. I'm not really sure where this came from, but it's a teensy little early s4 fic, that's Sam/Dean. Basically, the boys are kinda damaged. And, uh, that's it. It's kinda abstract.

Um...what can I say? It'll probably cure any cases of the warm fuzzies you have! ;-)



( Dragging his best sneer from deep in his belly, practically dripping with bile, he throws it sharply at his brother. )
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ash_carpenter
07 December 2009 @ 09:14 pm
Happy Birthday Rockstar!!!!! Wincest fic: Distraction  

Okay, so I'm sure that you've all noticed that it is the darling, delectable and utterly fantabulous [info]rockstarpeach's birthday!!!! I love her so much - and I even forgive her for the fact that she's a complete and utter sappy girl!!!!!

Well, she gave me some pretty specific prompts for her birthday fic (bossy bitch), and they went a little like this: Sam fancies Dean but they haven't done anything, John ends up beating the boys for some reason, then Dean tries to make Sam feel better by shagging him, and Sam's a bit scared and reluctant (although there's no non-con). PHEW! Anyway, I did my best so...Darling, I hope that you enjoy it!!!!

Just as a side-note, I'd like to point out that I love John. Although he wasn't exactly Father of the Year, I think he loved his boys and didn't abuse them physically or otherwise. But, unfortunately, that's just not as hot, so we'll all have to pretend that he did... ;-)



( He was angry, furious actually, but his body was fighting his thoughts and emotions, his entire nervous system lighting up bright at the unexpected attention from Dean. )

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ash_carpenter
01 December 2009 @ 08:36 pm
Happy Birthday [info]blondebitz!!!!!!  
Well, it's the darling and fabulous and completely wonderful Blondie's birthday today!!!! *massive hugs*

So, what else could I do but write her some AU Splindsey?! It has to be AU, see, cos it's really schmoopy. No, like, REALLY. If you read this, apologies, and you'll see why I don't write fluff very often... ;-)

But, darling, I do hope that you enjoy it!!!! It's rather festive and sappy, but hey...Sometimes that's allowed, right? :D




( A Good Cliché )
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ash_carpenter
21 November 2009 @ 06:19 pm
The Prince and the Pea  
Okay, so over at [info]nekid_spike the delightful [info]chikanelove asked me for some Spangel with bottom!Angel, and also Angel as seducer...

I hope she doesn't mind, but I've also combined this with the dirty fairy tale prompt, since it seemed to fit. Er...at least, in my twisted brain, it fitted. Ahem.

Anyway! A retelling of the Princess and the Pea. For your reference, I've headed it up with an abriged version of the original story! Heh, not that I'm trying to show just how wrong MY version is, or anything like that.

As an aside, both Spike and Angel are kinda mixtures of their regular personalities and the human versions (i.e. William and Liam). Sorry, hope it's not confusing or weird, but it just gelled better for the story. Uh, because it's obviously vitally important to characterise properly when you're perverting fairy stories....


Hope you enjoy!



( Angel watched Spike ascending the ladder. Or rather, he watched the delectable way that his firm little ass swayed as he was ascending the ladder. Nice. This was going to be so much fun. )
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ash_carpenter
12 November 2009 @ 11:44 pm
Giles/Lindsey fic: Impropriety  
So, the delectable [info]snogged fancied a nice bit of Giles/Lindsey (woo sugar daddy!) with the following prompt:

Discomfort during sex (rough edge of a table as counterpoint to pleasure; cold stone versus hot flesh; position is uncomfortable at first but then becomes perfect; penetration is painful, then pleasurable)


Summary: It's the company picnic and Lindsey arrives with his boss (and lover) Rupert Giles. It's hot, the car's cramped, Lindsey's sore...but Giles wants some fun before they join the masses...

Hope that you enjoy!!!!



( The plastic and metal of the levers between the seats prodded forcefully into Lindsey, causing bruises to bloom almost instantly, and he had to crane his neck awkwardly to the side to avoid getting his head smacked into the door on every thrust. )
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ash_carpenter
07 November 2009 @ 06:12 pm
Lindsey gets busted  
Okay, this is for the "Oops! Busted Again..." prompt at [info]the_elevator. I've done one of those "5 times" drabble concepts for our poor not-so-sneaky boy! Hope that you enjoy!!!



( Five times Lindsey got busted...and one time he didn't )
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ash_carpenter
04 November 2009 @ 11:18 pm
Fuck My Life  

Here's a little piece for the "FML" prompt over at [info]nekid_spike!!! Ten BtVS/AtS characters are at the end of their tether and write into www.fmylife.com... ;-)



( Good clean family fun! Well, by my standards, at any rate... )

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ash_carpenter
02 November 2009 @ 12:08 am
Wincest fic: Lending a Hand  
Well, I felt like a short and dirty Wincest. So I wrote one.

Cos that's just how I roll... ;-)
(Well, apart from the "short" bit. 1,600 words is apparently as short as I get. So I roll quite a lot further than I intend to most of the time.)

*Awesome summary alert*
Summary: Dean's jerking off. Sam comes home. He...uh...helps. Oh, and Dean's a total slut.
*End awesome summary*
</sarcasm>

Yeah, I think I'm in an odd mood...Anyway. Have some naughty Wincest. :D



( Look at you. Still fully dressed, hands shoved down your pants ‘cause you just couldn’t wait. )
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ash_carpenter
20 October 2009 @ 12:11 am
Whatever it takes  
Well. I've well and truly cocked this up...

My darling girly [info]rockstarpeach gave me a prompt involving Dean refusing to sleep with a virgin Sam, Sam getting annoyed and saying that he's been fucked, and Dean then getting annoyed and jumping Sam in a bit of a jealous rage...

It was all going so well. Then I caught pussy and it all turned a bit fluffy. Ah well, c'est la vie; I can't help it if the boys wuf each other. I mean, only fluffy by my standards, but still! I must stop watching pretty boys crying; apparently it's turning me into a big girl... ;-)

Warnings: underage sex (Sam is 15), blowjobs, fingering, rimming, spanking, slight BDSM, slight hints of dub-con, jealous!Dean, toppy!Dean, unexpected schmoop!



( Dean switched his wrists to one hand, using his upper body to keep him tight to the floor, and then slipped his other hand down to roughly massage Sam’s dick and then yank his pants open. )
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ash_carpenter
16 October 2009 @ 12:30 am
Trick, clearly  
Okay, so this is for the Trick or Treat prompt at [info]nekid_spikeand the "Innocent?" prompt at [info]the_elevator!!!

Wolfram and Hart is having a Trick or Treat day for its employees and Lindsey get involved. His cute little outfit goes down well...until some of the people who know him best start to suspect that it's all a trick...


And [info]blondebitzmade me this awesome banner! She rocks so hard! :D








And then [info]mwrgana made this one for me too! I'm so lucky, because it's absolutely gorgeous!











( What are you up to now? )
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ash_carpenter
11 October 2009 @ 06:28 pm
Langel plus Spike fic: You Want Revenge?  
Well, the delightful and wonderfully dirtybadwrong [info]snogged asked me for the following over at [info]nekid_spike:

I'm in the mood for a little Angel/Lindsey perviness filled with sadistic glee and coming in pants ;) Bonus points if Lindsey's not the bitch.

Okay, I want Spike to be the puppetmaster who arranges this whole thing.

As for sadistic glee: I want bodies bruised and bloody while still giving me that guilty thrill that it's hot


So! We have a dirty little Langel, with bottom!Angel, and Spike as a voyeur (with an established Splindsey relationship). Hope you enjoy!

(Oops, better warn for BDSM, dirty talking, humiliation and dub-con. Heh.)



( Angel was awoken by a sharp slap around the face. )

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