Okay, third chapter to my sequel to How to Ride and Leather and Gasoline! Sorry I didn't get it posted last night - it was very lame of me to let RL get in the way like that ;-)
If you haven't read the first two fics (and you don't need to in order to understand this - they're mostly just smut *G*), all you need to know is that Spike works for a studio choosing set locations and lives in NY, Lindsey is a redneck country singer who lives down south, they're in an established relationship thanks to a chance dirty fuck behind a bar...and Spike has a jealous ex....
Oooh, take a gander at this fabulous manip made by the wonderful![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif)
elebridith- it's so stunning! *happy sigh*
Title: Playing Dirty (Chapter 3/5)
Pairing: Spike/Lindsey
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: *sobs* So very not mine. I just abuse 'em.
Warnings: M/m relations (lots of...smutty smut smut, I tell you!), language, angst, fuckwittery...
Previous chapters here.
Just to remind you, when we left the boys they were fighting. Lindsey was searching for Spike and Angel was being a complete dick ;-)
If you haven't read the first two fics (and you don't need to in order to understand this - they're mostly just smut *G*), all you need to know is that Spike works for a studio choosing set locations and lives in NY, Lindsey is a redneck country singer who lives down south, they're in an established relationship thanks to a chance dirty fuck behind a bar...and Spike has a jealous ex....
Oooh, take a gander at this fabulous manip made by the wonderful
elebridith- it's so stunning! *happy sigh*Title: Playing Dirty (Chapter 3/5)
Pairing: Spike/Lindsey
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: *sobs* So very not mine. I just abuse 'em.
Warnings: M/m relations (lots of...smutty smut smut, I tell you!), language, angst, fuckwittery...
Previous chapters here.
Just to remind you, when we left the boys they were fighting. Lindsey was searching for Spike and Angel was being a complete dick ;-)
Banner by the amazing blondebitz:
blondebitz: Chapter 3
Lindsey flung open the door to the roof and ran through it, barrelling straight into Spike’s embrace so forcefully that they crashed to the floor.
Spike, unmindful of the scrape of the concrete at his back, wrapped his arms and legs around the other man, as if afraid that he might try to escape. Lindsey peppered his mouth and jaw with kisses, his heart aching with a harsh little pang as he tasted the salty tracks of tears, and then burrowed into the warmth of his neck.
“I looked for you; I couldn’t find you,” whispered Spike, clinging tightly to him and pressing his face into his hair. He could smell the acrid tang of smoke and alcohol, so he knew that Lindsey had been in a bar, although he’d guessed that anyway.
“I know, I’m sorry. I just needed some time. I looked for you too,” he murmured against Spike’s skin, laying open mouthed kisses over his throat. “When I turned my phone on and called, I got voicemail.”
“Was prob’ly trying to call you. Tried hundreds of times…I didn’t wanna leave a message ‘cause I didn’t know wot to say to make you come back to me.”
“Baby…It ain’t that easy to get rid of me,” he assured, holding him tighter and reaching up to stroke through unruly curls, the gel from which had been worked out by agitated, nervous hands.
The problem was that they both knew that they were reaching the breaking point. A couple of months ago, Lindsey would never have walked away. And Spike wouldn’t have said something to make him want to walk away.
They knew that they should talk. At a basic level, it seemed so simple: what was tearing them apart was the fact that they weren’t together like they wanted to be, which should have been an easy problem to solve. But it wasn’t.
And so they didn’t talk. There wasn’t a lot left to say, and they were sick of going around in circles. For now, they were in each other’s arms and that would have to be enough.
They kissed frantically, tearing at clothing to half-expose flushed skin and then grabbing desperately at it. They fucked right there on the hard stone floor, gravel biting into their skin and sticking to their sweat. Lindsey made sure that he was on top, hating himself a little for being insecure enough to need to prove that he could dominate Spike. Although who he was proving it to, he didn’t know.
Spike didn’t notice – Lindsey topped half the time anyway and he’d been a hell of a lot more forceful than this before; sometimes they got off on bondage and a little pain. But he did know that something wasn’t right.
Make-up sex wasn’t all that it was cracked up to be. It was still phenomenal of course and they came hard…but then again, they always did. And now there was a bitter, fearful edge that had never been there before. They didn’t want to have to make up.
As they lay panting together afterwards, Spike nestled against Lindsey’s chest, the brunet looked up at the murky view of the sky. He liked fucking in the open, but even here – where it was about as “open” as New York got – all he could do was ache for home, where the air was clear and fresh and stars lay glittering across the sky like crushed diamonds.
He looked at Spike and felt his breath catch at the beauty of those bright blue eyes as they stared adoringly at him. Once again, he felt the wrenching on the inside as he was pulled in two different directions.
He’d beg Spike on his knees to move home with him if he thought it would make any difference.
But it wouldn’t, so he sighed and kissed him instead.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Lindsey awoke to the extremely pleasant sensation of being licked.
He gasped and looked down the length of his body to see Spike shuffling down the bed and pushing his legs further apart. He moaned and arched as his sensitive inner thigh was nibbled.
“Good morning,” mumbled Spike.
Lindsey glanced at the clock and then smiled back at the blond with an eyebrow raise. “Not really…But it’s shapin’ up to be a great afternoon,” he said huskily, watching his dick fill.
Spike laughed and then frowned at a dry, tacky patch on Lindsey’s hip. He rubbed his thumb over the stale cum and it flaked off. “You’re gross. In fact, we both are.”
“So’s the bed,” commented Lindsey, observing the stained, rumpled sheets. He was sure they’d been fresh just the day before yesterday.
“Oh well,” sighed Spike, as if resigned. “Guess we might as well make sure it’s good and dirty before we bother changing it…”
Lindsey snorted. “I think we passed ‘good and dirty’ a coupla stops back, babe.”
Spike lapped at the crease between Lindsey’s groin and his leg. “Mmmm…dirty. Just how I like you.” He ran his hands firmly over the other man’s chest and stomach, speaking between teasing little licks at his sac and now fully erect cock. “Raw…and filthy…and so…fucking…masculine…that it makes me feel like…I’m gonna shoot…like some horny…little…kid.”
“Fuck!” Lindsey cursed, bowing his back off the bed as Spike finally closed his mouth around his dick. Panting, he grabbed the blond’s shoulders and held him still for a moment, until the danger of just coming right then and there passed over a little. Fuck, but no-one else could do this to him – turn him into a quivering mass of need with nothing more than some light touches and a few dirty words.
“Please, Spike…” he begged, one hand caressing a sharp cheek.
“Please wot, pet?” he asked gently.
Please fuck me.
Please love me.
Please choose me
Please don’t leave me.
Please be there forever.
Please.
“Just…please.”
Spike smiled and dipped his head again, lapping at the crown of Lindsey’s dick and then nuzzling his way down over his balls. He pushed his thighs apart and back, exposing the other man fully to his appreciative gaze. He passed his tongue over Lindsey’s entrance in tantalising little licks that had the brunet swearing and begging incoherently for more as he tried to push back. Spike smacked his flank playfully, although he gave him what he wanted nevertheless.
Grunting pleasurably, Spike pressed his face right up against Lindsey’s body, forcing his tongue past the thick ring of muscle and licking him from the inside. They hadn’t showered since the previous afternoon and they’d fucked one another several times since then, so he could taste both lubricant and his own cum, which should have been unpleasant but was just arousing.
Lindsey threw his hands back and gripped the headboard, moaning and trying not to clench his thighs too tightly around Spike’s head. The blond’s lips and teeth were working on him, his tongue massaging ridged walls firmly and thoroughly; he loved the dirty intimacy of it and his dick was pulsing out a steady stream of pre-cum onto his taut, straining abdomen.
“Babe…Spike, please…” he murmured, feet scrabbling at the messy sheets as he tried to keep a handle on himself. He needed the affirmation of sex at the moment – they both did – and if the other man didn’t get the show on the road soon it was going to be over before it had even begun.
Spike crawled back up his body and kissed him. Sex between them always had the raw burn of fierce desire, and was usually hot and hard and frantic, even though they were affectionate. Making love didn’t have to mean going slow, and even now they didn’t seem capable of it.
Lindsey pulled Spike down as close as he could and they made out as if oxygen was irrelevant in the face of their need for each other. Hands clutched and clung, muscles clenched, chests heaved, penetration was achieved with no conscious thought and bodies moved seamlessly together on a sheen of sweat.
The sounds of flesh on flesh and harsh, rhythmic pants were loud, echoing around the high-ceilinged apartment. They lost themselves in the sensation of one another, taking and giving so much that when they came – together, and muffling sharp cries against each other’s lips – it drained them completely.
Supine, stretched out over Lindsey’s body like a panther, but still shaking slightly from the force of his orgasm, Spike didn’t know whether he’d ever feel capable of moving again.
Lindsey stroked his back almost reverently, calloused hand intimately mapping his skin and moulding to his planes of musculature as if it belonged there.
“Luv?”
“Mmmm?”
“Would you mind bringing the shower in here?”
Lindsey smiled, kissing his temple tenderly. “Well, maybe I’d try if your lazy ass wasn’t draped all over me,” he teased.
“Leave me alone: I’m fucked out. Your fault…”
“Fucked out, huh? What if I wanna go again?” he asked, although they both knew that he’d be lucky if he could muster the strength to even roll over at that particular moment.
“Well, apart from the fact you’d be superhuman, you’d also be clinically insatiable.”
“Clinically? It’s an actual condition then?”
“Yes. I believe the technical term is “a slut”.”
Lindsey laughed. “Well, damn. You’d better get me admitted, ‘cause I’m definitely a slut for you, baby.”
“Don’t I know it,” leered Spike, trying to stretch out his aching muscles and then deciding that it was too much trouble. “How do you manage when I’m not there?”
Lindsey raised a lascivious eyebrow. “How do you think I manage? Remember that repetitive strain injury I told y’about…?”
A shadow passed over Spike’s face but it was gone too quickly for Lindsey to identify what was wrong and then he was surprised to discover that the blond was actually moving.
“Come on, cowboy. Time to greet the…mid-afternoon. If we don’t change these sheets then they’re gonna get up and walk off by themselves.”
Lindsey pouted as his warm, cosy Spike blanket disappeared, but allowed himself to be tugged out of the bed and into strong, safe arms.
It felt so right that it was almost easy to believe that everything was okay.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Oh…my…God…”
“That good, huh?” asked Lindsey with a wink, smiling at Spike’s wide-eyed, slack-jawed expression.
Three seconds later he found his arms full of amorous blond and hands were sliding over his ass while his neck was nuzzled affectionately. “You smell so fucking good...Almost as good as you look.”
“Spike…” laughed Lindsey, trying half-heartedly to push him away.
“Yeah?”
“You’re making me hard!”
Spike looked mischievously into his eyes, corner of his mouth lifting in a leer. “And that’s a bad thing, because…?”
Trying desperately to resist the hotness that was his boyfriend in a suit – about a Force 10 on the Fuck Me! Scale – Lindsey replied, “Because we’re already late for the Premiere and actually looking almost presentable for a change and me getting hard will result in us turning up in three hours torn and rumpled, walking funny with just-fucked-three-ways-from-Sunday hair.”
Spike blinked slowly. “I want you so badly right now…”
Chuckling, Lindsey hooked a hand around his neck and kissed him. “You’re stunning.”
His blue shirt brought out his eyes and Lindsey thought he could lose himself in those piercing depths forever. Hair tousled, suit fitted and sexy, shirt unbuttoned halfway down his chest…And why was it again that they weren’t supposed to be fucking?
Spike stroked his hand softly over Lindsey’s freshly-washed hair, which was tumbling over his shoulders. “You’re the sexiest bloody thing I’ve ever seen,” he murmured huskily.
Lindsey felt the heat between them slide up a few notches, his groin suddenly getting heavier. “Yeah…time to go.”
“Yeah.”
Regretfully, they broke apart with a quick kiss and walked out of the apartment, hand in hand, to hail a cab.
As they were waiting, Spike recalled their conversation and snorted sceptically. “Three hours, huh?”
Lindsey shrugged, trying to keep a straight face. “Give or take two hours and forty-five minutes…”
They missed the first two cabs, too busy kissing to spot them.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Lindsey couldn’t help but wonder how the fuck he’d ended up wandering up a red carpet, holding hands with the hottest man in the entire world.
Obviously, most of the attention was focussed on the few stars who were there, timing their leisurely, posing strolls to perfection, but Lindsey knew that they made an eye-catching pair. They paused on their way in as one of the event photographers stopped them and snapped a picture of them against the red velvet curtains.
“That’s a keeper,” he winked.
And then they grabbed glasses of Champagne and made their way into the main hall, smiling happily at each other.
As is usually the case on nights when the shit hits the fan, the evening was relatively uneventful for a while. Lindsey and Spike drank and laughed and tried to be appropriately polite and focussed during the presentations and the screening, fidgeting during the speeches and jumping up gratefully when it was time to get back to the alcohol and having fun.
Spike went to the bar, leaving Lindsey to be chatted up by…everyone in the place, from the looks of it. He was in such a good mood that he even smiled when Angel sidled up next to him. “Hey! Wot’s up?”
“Hey, Will. You look great.”
“Thanks! So do you,” he replied sincerely. Angel had a black suit with a black shirt beneath it and was wearing a couple of large platinum rings. He looked sexy and sultry, and Spike had to admit that – after some time and distance from what a fucking train wreck their relationship had been – he could now remember why he’d found Angel so attractive in the first place.
“Have a drink with me?”
Spike looked over to check that Lindsey was still okay and decided that he appeared to be surrounded by even more admiring people than before, “Yeah, sure.”
Angel got Spike whisky, knowing that the combination of hard liquor and Champagne was a bad one for the blond. “Cheers.”
“Cheers,” he echoed, knocking his glass against Angel’s. “Who are you here with?”
Angel nodded towards some gorgeous and completely interchangeable actor/model/singer type who was busily trying to get himself noticed by all the other gorgeous, interchangeable people. “Bradley.”
“He’s…pretty.”
Angel shrugged. “They always are. And bland and boring, and hoping I’ll help get their careers off the ground.”
Spike raised his eyebrows in surprise; it was unusual for Angel to be so honest about something like that, and he actually sounded discontent. “So, why bother?”
Angel looked at him steadily and then smiled humourlessly and let his eyes slide away. “Well, I was too much of an idiot to hold onto what I really wanted.”
Having drunk too much to be as uncomfortable as he knew that he should be, Spike smiled sadly. “Long time ago, mate.”
The brunet nodded slowly. “Yeah…Not long enough for me to get over it.” Suddenly straightening up and ordering another drink, he said, “But anyway, you don’t need to hear this. Sorry. You have Lindsey now, and things seem to be going really well.”
Spike’s eyes shifted slightly. “Yeah.” How amazing the evening was suddenly served to remind him how much everything was actually falling down around their ears.
Angel looked at him sympathetically as he handed him another double. “It’s hard when you come from such different worlds.”
Spike nodded. “It’s not a problem though; we’ll work it out.”
“You know, I’m surprised he hasn’t just moved up here to be with you,” said Angel casually, as if the thought was just occurring to him. “I mean, you said he does manual work, right? It’s not like it’s a career. I’d have thought he’d like the idea of getting away from his home town and actually living somewhere where there was so much going on.”
Spike’s jaw ticked. He’d been trying really hard not to resent that Lindsey refused to make any changes for him, despite the fact that there wasn’t that much keeping him down south. It was annoying that Angel was unwittingly bringing all his buried hurt to the surface, but the fact that it was so obvious to someone on the outside meant that Lindsey was at least being slightly unreasonable. Tongue loosened by alcohol, months of repressed frustration bubbling to the surface, he said, “He expects me to just pack everything in and move down there. Like, playing with his band and being within throwing distance of his mum are more important than my career, you know?”
Carefully keeping his smug smile from surfacing, Angel nodded. “But you shouldn’t be so hard on him, Will. He’s never had a job like yours, or travelled, or lived in a city. He likes his small town life and would probably be happy to live forever in the same place. If you’re gonna be with someone from such a different walk of life, you have to make allowances.”
The blond frowned. He knew he couldn’t expect Lindsey to see everything his way, but what if he never wanted to change anything? Did he think that Spike would be happy to remain stationary for the rest of his life? Maybe taking on a job that didn’t give him the excitement, freedom and benefits that he had now?
“But should I be the one making all the allowances?” he asked, more to himself than Angel.
Angel almost laughed aloud at now being in the position of defending Lindsey; it was beautiful. “Well, that depends. If there are things that he finds so important that he won’t give them up, then you’ll have to make the sacrifices, won’t you? His priorities are different to yours, I guess. Like…He probably doesn’t care that much about his job, but playing with his band? I bet that’s a pretty big deal where he’s from, and you know as well as I do that any kind of performer gets addicted to the rush of it.”
Spike drained his glass and signalled that he wanted another. The last part had touched a very raw nerve; he’d been wondering whether or not Lindsey stayed faithful to him when they were apart. He imagined him drunk, charged up from playing and singing, available men practically throwing themselves at him…
“Maybe you should slow down,” said Angel gently, handing him another drink.
Ignoring him, Spike took a long swallow. He knew that it was fucked up to be discussing any of it with Angel, but it wasn’t as if he and Lindsey could talk about it without getting into another fight or feeling like they were hitting their heads against a brick wall.
“Be careful, Will,” warned the brunet with a sigh. “It pains me to say it – I know what an asshole I was – but you really leave yourself open to being hurt. You give so much, and you aren’t good at spotting it when someone’s giving nothing back.”
Spike glared at him. “Yeah, well thanks for the pep talk. Just wot I needed; a reminder that it’s my fault when people use me,” he snapped, slamming his glass back on the bar and turning his back to Angel. Spotting some green-eyed, olive-skinned Adonis getting far too close to Lindsey for his liking, Spike muttered, “I’m off. Thanks for the drink.”
Angel watched his back, allowing himself a triumphant smirk. Sure, Spike wasn’t very happy with him at that particular moment, but it was a small price to pay. The damage had been done.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Hey,” smiled Lindsey.
“Hi,” replied Spike shortly, before turning to face the pretty boy making a move on his boyfriend. “Fuck off.”
“Spike!” spluttered Lindsey in astonishment. Spike was usually very smooth at these functions and that was most definitely not how to win friends and influence people.
Gaping in outrage, the kid turned on his Cuban heels and stormed off.
“What the hell was that about?!”
“Oh, I’m sorry – was I interrupting something?”
“What?” His eyes widened in shock. He had no idea what had happened to Spike in the twenty minutes since he’d last seen him, but something had gone drastically wrong.
“You know…You never really did answer the question about how you curb your insatiability when we’re apart.”
Lindsey’s eyes flashed with hurt and anger…and a little something else. “Actually, I did. But it obviously wasn’t good enough for you. You got something to say? Just say it.”
“I just can’t help thinking about that first night we were together…All hopped up from playing a gig, you just hauled some stranger out back and fucked ‘em…And from your friends’ reaction, it wasn’t exactly a surprise.”
Lindsey smiled without the faintest trace of amusement. “And? You came onto some redneck country singer like a fuckin’ groupie slut and let him tap your ass right there out back of the bar. Does that mean I shouldn’t trust you now?”
Spike clenched his jaw, reluctant to accept the frankly quite reasonable implication that Lindsey had just as much reason to be worried as he did. He knew that he was being a twat – at least, he hoped he was – but he just had to know. He was horribly insecure by nature, and this was driving him crazy, especially since he’d never really felt the need to be such a basket case with Lindsey before. “Just tell me the truth. Have you been with someone else?”
Lindsey didn’t know where this had come from, but there was no getting away from it now. He’d been hoping to avoid ever having this conversation, and the timing couldn’t really be worse. He exhaled slowly and looked down at where his hands were fiddling with his bottle of beer. “Couple of months ago, I fucked up. I’d just come back from up here, I was missing you like crazy, worrying about the fact that we can’t seem to get it together…and I thought I could make the pain go away. I was wrong.”
The look on Spike’s face almost broke Lindsey’s heart. Looking at him from beneath his lashes, he continued softly. “I didn’t sleep with him. We got into it but…I couldn’t do it and I called a stop to it.”
Words tight with pain and barely restrained fury, Spike asked, “When did you stop it, Lindsey? When you were groping him? When he’d gotten down on his knees for you? When you were balls fucking deep?!” He gave his chest a small, vicious shove.
Flushing with shame and regret, he shook his head. “I’m so sorry, baby. But please believe me, I stopped it before we got that far. When I said that I didn’t wanna fuck after all? He beat the shit out of me…and I let him. I deserved it for doing that to you.”
It had been the most surreal thing, just letting someone pummel him with their fists and relishing the pain; he’d had to tell his friends and family that he’d been mugged.
“Yeah, you fucking did!” retorted Spike bitterly. Angel was right; all he ever did was put himself on the line…and he’d thought that Lindsey was the one person who would never make him regret it.
“I’m sorry,” he repeated. “I don’t want anyone else. I haven’t since the day we met.”
Spike snorted derisively. “Really? Sure this isn’t the reason that you won’t move? Must be a real thrill, yeah? Playing with your band, being admired. Bit of a ‘big fish in a small pond’ syndrome?”
Music was important to Lindsey, and Spike knew that. “I know you’re upset about what I did…But is deliberately hurting me really the way you wanna go?” asked the brunet, looking him fully in the eye and seeing his own pain mirrored and marred by anger.
“Oh, you’re hurt? Fuck you, Lindsey. I’m such a bloody fool! I do everything I can for us to be together! Every holiday I have I come to you, I try to take time off when you’re here…I spend every possible second with you. You won’t even fucking fly up here so that we can have more time together! You insist on bringing that sodding truck, which must add half a day each way to an already long drive – and why the hell don’t you get a new car?! The amount of money you spend fixing that bitch, you could easily have bought a new one.”
Lindsey looked at him levelly. “Yeah, well I like her – faults and all. And don’t you dare pretend that I don’t make any effort to see you…You think getting time off is easy? You think I can afford to drive up here all the time, let alone fly?”
“For fuck’s sake, I’ve offered you money! I’ve offered you everything!” he hissed in exasperation. He’d told Lindsey that he’d support him; what the fuck more could he do?
“Yeah, everythin’…as long as I give up my life and come fit comfortably into yours, right?”
“Well, I thought that you loved me.”
And there: someone had finally said it. The accusation that had been bubbling under the surface for months: if you loved me, you’d move.
Lindsey swallowed hard. He supposed that he could see why Spike was being this way, particularly following the revelation that he had almost cheated on him. But it hurt.
“I don’t just love you, Spike. I completely fuckin’ adore you. You’re already the most important thing in my life; if I came here for you, then you’d be my life – I wouldn’t have anythin’ else left. Is that what you want? You’re comfortable with the thought of me losing who I am just so that I can make things more convenient for you?”
“And wot the fuck is it that you’re so afraid of losing, Lindsey? You’ve always run away from everything! Always wondered why a bloke as smart as you was working on a farm, but your mum told me all about Hastings…Wot was it? Just couldn’t hack the thought that you might make something of yourself?”
Making a mental note to thank his momma for that, Lindsey smiled bitterly. “So, here we are. This is the real point, huh? I’m a loser, an underachiever, so really I should just be grateful for your offer and shut the fuck up, right?”
“Well, it would certainly solve some problems,” agreed Spike brashly. And fuck, but he was being a complete arsehole! But he was so very upset about the realisation that Lindsey didn’t care enough about him to change and then to discover that he’d been unfaithful as well…It was like being ripped into small pieces and tossed around as confetti.
Lindsey shook his head incredulously; apparently, for all his concern, he’d never actually believed that Spike felt this way. It was like a hammer blow.
“I…I think I’d better stop talkin’ to you right now,” he said, deliberately making it sound as though he was angry, although in fact he was pretty sure that he was closer to crying than anything else.
“Yeah, go on. Run away again, since it’s wot you do best. Make sure you deal with your problems in the appropriate way: bar’s in that direction,” spat Spike, waving his hand towards where he’d been stood with Angel.
Unable to find any more words, Lindsey pushed past him and disappeared into the crowd.
END CHAPTER THREE.
Read Chapter 4
END CHAPTER THREE.
Read Chapter 4
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