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Wahoo!
Okay, so over at![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/community.gif)
nekid_spike, we're playing a 'Mix the episode' game, and we've combined two of the funniest BtVS and AtS eps eva - Tabula Rasa and Spin the Bottle. (You remember, right? In Tabula Rasa (s6 BtVS), Willow casts a forgetting spell and they all wake up with amnesia...Who can forget Randy Giles?! And in Spin the Bottle (s4 AtS), a spell is cast to try to help Cordy get her memory back and everyone ends up regressing to their 17-year old personas.)
Heh...Well, I've used all the mystically-hampered characters from the two episodes and thrown them together for six little dialogue ficlets! It's rather experimental, but hopefully you'll be able to work out who's talking...
Oh, just so you know...I haven't even attempted to invent a premise for why the episodes might have met. Er...let's just say that the Spin the Bottle spell goes even more horribly wrong and the AtS characters are plunged back in time (and several hundred miles) and wind up landing in The Magic Box, okay? Er, yeah...Lame I know. But whatever.. I never claimed to make any sense... ;-)
Okay, so over at
nekid_spike, we're playing a 'Mix the episode' game, and we've combined two of the funniest BtVS and AtS eps eva - Tabula Rasa and Spin the Bottle. (You remember, right? In Tabula Rasa (s6 BtVS), Willow casts a forgetting spell and they all wake up with amnesia...Who can forget Randy Giles?! And in Spin the Bottle (s4 AtS), a spell is cast to try to help Cordy get her memory back and everyone ends up regressing to their 17-year old personas.)Heh...Well, I've used all the mystically-hampered characters from the two episodes and thrown them together for six little dialogue ficlets! It's rather experimental, but hopefully you'll be able to work out who's talking...
Oh, just so you know...I haven't even attempted to invent a premise for why the episodes might have met. Er...let's just say that the Spin the Bottle spell goes even more horribly wrong and the AtS characters are plunged back in time (and several hundred miles) and wind up landing in The Magic Box, okay? Er, yeah...Lame I know. But whatever.. I never claimed to make any sense... ;-)
Spin the Rasa
Xander & Cordy
“Uh, Miss? Can I help you?” *tries not to waggle eyebrows suggestively…’cause he has a girlfriend, apparently*
*glares at him* What the hell do you want, Xander? And don’t tell me it’s to ask me to prom.
“Um…who in the what in the huh now? *wonders if the woman is deranged*
“Don’t you play games with me, mister…And...what happened to you?! Did you eat a donut shop or something?” *eyes the way he’s packed on the pounds*
“Hey!…And, again…what? Do I know you?”
“What do you mean, do you know me?! What’s wrong with you, Xander? I know you’re not exactly poster boy for sanity, but this is ridiculous!”
“What’s a Xander?” *frowns in confusion*
“You are, asswipe!” *makes an ‘ugh’ of irritation*
“I’m a Xander? Weird. Do you know anything else about me?”
“Yeah, you’re a pathetic loser with bad fashion sense – and, from the looks of it, an eating disorder – who once, unfathomably, had a chance with me, Cordelia Chase, and blew it by macking on a skanky, skinny, red-headed geek!” *scowls darkly*
“Oh, you mean Willow?” *quails as Cordy screams and stomps her foot* “I mean, uh, sorry? I sound like a complete jerk?”
“Damn skippy you do! Well, this hasn’t been fun; let’s never do it again. And don’t even try to talk to me at school…”
*feels a little better about her damning words as it becomes clear that she is, in fact, a few cards short of a full deck* “School? Uh, hello? Unless you’re really ‘special’ and repeating every grade twice, I think high school was a few years, a wrinkle or two and probably a bra size ago.”
*gapes at him in enraged shock* “Oh, I’m gonna put my foot up your ass…”
*backs away* “Uh-oh…Time to go.” *turns and flees*
*decides that finding a mirror is more important that kicking Xander’s expanding ass*
*screams*
“My hair!”
Fred & Tara
“Hey.”
*peeks shyly from under lashes* “Hello.”
“My name’s Fred.”
“I’m Tara…I think. A-a-according to my license, anyway.”
*looks at her strangely* “You think…? Are you alright? You sound kinda…” *looks at her hopefully* “Stoned? Are you? Do you have any weed?”
“Oh…Well, I…I don’t know.” *pats pockets…draws out a bag full of some kind of herb* “Apparently, yes….”
*grins broadly…covers up a giggle with her hand* “Wanna smoke?”
*checks no-one’s nearby, especially not that cute redhead* “Sure, I g-guess…”
*tokes up and takes a hit* “Wow, this is kinda…”
*accepts a drag* “Strong?”
“And…odd-tasting…”
“And funny-smelling…”
*frowns at tingling in face* “Are you sure this is weed…?”
*blanches* “Um...I hope so…”
*watches Tara turn a funny shade of green* “Oh darn…”
Anya & Willow & Gunn
*admires the hot young stud testing out weapons* “That boy has very agreeable shoulders and arms. I imagine that he’s good at sex.”
*blinks in shock at the strangely blunt woman* “Uh…Okay…”
*leans on counter and sighs dreamily* “Don’t you agree? I mean, are you blind? And you know what they say about bla-“
“Stop! Please stop…” *wonders why she finds talk of boys and their…bits…uncomfortable since she’s apparently dating Alex* “I’m sure he’s very…uh…talented…And, you know, he’s good with weapons…Not that I’m saying…Well, I didn’t mean to make a bad pun or anything and…And should you really be saying things like that? What about your fiancé?” *blushes furiously, face clashing alarmingly with her hair*
“Rupert? Well, he’s…old. And while it makes good sense for me for be dating someone financially sound, nearly half of men his age experience some kind of erectile dysfunction, you know. I’m probably sex-starved.” *ignores Willow’s look of horror* “Although…he does seem unusually virile for his age, doesn’t he?”
*looks scared when she realises that the crazy is actually expecting an answer* “Um…Sure?”
*saunters on over, projecting his manliness and ‘tude as strongly as possible into his swinging gait* “Hey, ladies. Name’s Gunn. Used to rollin’ with my crew, but I know how to go it alone, so don’t be concerned…I’ll protect you, yo.”
*raises an unimpressed eyebrow* “Yeah…uh, thanks Ice. What exactly is it you’re protecting us from?”
*leans on the counter…brings face close to Anya’s and flexes his biceps a little* “Anything you want.”
“I want to be satisfied. My ruggedly handsome fiancé might be impotent.”
*draws back in astonishment* “Huh?”
*rolls eyes* “Listen, we’re fine, really. Maybe you should go…find something to hit or whatever. You know, before Little Miss Overshare here tries to vamp you…?”
*grabs for stake in alarm* “Vamp?!”
*yanks Anya out of harm’s way* “What?! No! Calm down…”
*glares* “Don’t be tellin’ me what to do! I don’t take orders from no skinny little white girls!”
*rolls eyes even more dramatically* “Oh, brother…”
*scowls indignantly* “Did you just call me ‘brother’…? You see me calling you ‘honky’?”
*turns to Willow* “I think I’ll stick with Rupert. This one seems a little impetuous…He probably has control issues.”
*facepalm*
Wesley & Giles
“Hello there, good fellow.”
*frowns* “Hello?”
“Wesley Wyndam-Pryce. I trust that you’re the proprietor of this store?”
“Apparently.”
“Jolly good. Now, I see that you have some rather interesting artefacts, books and weapons, so I rather hope that, like myself, you are an expert in the mystical field…?”
“You’re an expert?” *looks sceptical* “Well, as it happens, I am…but I can’t remember anything about it. I appear to be suffering from some form of amnesia and all I’ve been able to glean so far is that my name is Rupert Giles – and that I have a fiancé half my age and an irritating disappointment of a son named Randy.”
*goes wide-eyed with astonishment* “Not the Rupert Giles…? Well, this must be a test of sorts. I was right!” *looks rather surprised at the development* “I must say, you’re somewhat infamous at the Academy; my father says that you can’t be trusted an inch.”
*is quite pleased at being referred to as ‘the’ Rupert Giles, but confused and a little indignant* “I’m sure I can be trusted completely! Well…apart from with younger women, evidently. Now, look here…What’s all this about Academies and tests? You must tell me everything you know, man!”
*puffs his chest out at being referred to as a man* “All in good time. I must first ascertain that you are, in fact, the real Rupert Giles…Tell me something that only he would know.”
*rolls eyes* “I just told you that I had amnesia, you berk.”
“Well, Father always said you were rude, so I suppose that supports your story…But what’s all this about a son? Rupert Giles doesn’t have any children.”
*blinks in surprise* “He doesn’t? I mean…I don’t? No cocky blond layabout offspring who I clearly must have had while I was still a teenager?”
*wonders what on earth kind of a test this is and whether he’ll get back to dorm before midnight because he has a rendezvous arranged with Tommy Hooper-Smith in which he fully intends to live up to his title of Head Boy* “Um, no.”
*looks horrified* “But I hugged him!”
Angel & Spike
“What’s wrong with your hair?” *wonders if it’s catching*
“Wot do you mean? Nothing! Wot’s wrong with your hair? It sticks up!” *points*
“No it doesn’t! English scum. It’s long and…” *pats head* “…ARGH! What have you done to my hair?!”
“Nothing, you tit!”
“Did you just call me a tit…? My name is Liam!” *puffs chest out*
“Yeah I did. Tit. I’m Randy.”
“…Uh…” *wonders whether the odd stranger wants to do sordid and unnatural things, just like his local parish priest warned him about…and which he’s never ever wanted to try ever. Honestly.* “…I like lasses.”
“Wot? No! It’s my name, you ponce.” *rolls eyes, wondering for the hundredth time that day what the bloody hell his dad was playing at* “Wot are you doing he-…AAAAAAAAAAAAH!” *stumbles backwards and falls on his arse as Liam’s forehead goes all bumpy and he develops fangs in response to being called names* “You’re a vampire!”
“That’s ridiculous, Rampant!” *feels forehead and gasps*
*glares* “Randy!” *eyes fangs again* “But you feel free to call me wotever you want…Really.”
*likes the scared look he’s receiving, so decides to stalk towards the supine Englishman, who is clearly annoying and has silly hair…but is probably prettier than half the dock whores and tavern wenches he’s ploughed* “Maybe I am a creature of the night…I suppose that means that I should bite you! Grrr…Argh…”
“Hey! Get your big sticky mitts off me! Help!” *feels something weird happen in response to the alarm and realises that his face has changed* “Hang on a tick…”
*jumps back in surprise with a not-very-manly squawk* “You’re one too!”
“No I’m not!”
“Yes you are!”
“Oh. Yeah, I s’pose I am…” *eyes Liam in wary confusion*
*studies Randy, wondering if it’s okay for vampires to think men are attractive, what with already being deviants and everything* “So…”
“Wot now?”
“Uh…We could…eat someone?”
“Yeah, I guess. Who?”
*blurts, lest the sexy…er…annoying blond think he’s not completely macho* “A girl!”
“Right! Obviously.” *shifts eyes away*
“Obviously.”
*stares suspiciously at Liam’s pocket* “You’re not carrying a stake are you…?”
*blushes* “Uh…”
Angel & Buffy & Dawn
*eyes the girl, pleased to note that she is small, blonde and FEMALE* “Well, hello there…You’re a pretty little thing, aren’t you?”
*narrows her eyes at him* “And you’re a patronising sleaze.”
*huffs in indignation* “I’m not! I’m a vamp…er…” *coughs*
*brandishes her stake, wrong way up* “A what?”
*edges towards the exit* “Nothing…” *realises that he’s being ridiculous; she probably weighs 90lbs wringing wet…vamps out* “I mean…Grrrr…I’m a monster! I’m going to eat you!”
*spins stake round and jumps into fighting stance* “And I’m gonna kick your ass! I’m Joan the Superhero!”
*blinks* “Feck…” *runs for the exit*
*rushes him, tackling him and bringing him to the floor* “Stop, fiend! You’re so dusted!”
*melts back into human visage…blinks cute puppy dog eyes* “No, please! Don’t kill me…I’m a good vampire, honestly…” *pouts…looks all contrite and broody…does the eye thing again*
*gets distinctly damp in the crotch area* “Oh…Well, I suppose if you’re a good vampire…” *wonders whether it’s usual for superheroes to be aroused by monsters*
SLURP. GRUNT. SLOBBER. GASP.
“Joan! What the hell are you doing?! Oh my God, eeeeeeeeeeeeeew! You’re macking on a vampire!”
*staggers to feet…adjusts bra* “Dawn! Er…It’s okay! He’s a good vampire!”
*rolls eyes* “You’re such an airhead…”
“Hey!”
THE END.
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silly
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